Why should I constantly look for the good in people?

2026 Day 159. #PersonalDays.

How many people do we meet in a lifetime?

I was keen on finding the answer so I looked to the only place on the internet where I could expect a result, Reddit. Someone had the exact question on r/theydidthemath but there are no satisfactory answers because of the number of variables involved. Here is the link to the question, and you can go through the comments to get a rough idea for yourself.

As a child I was very trusting of people, I felt the world was beautiful place and everyone I knew was my friend. Early adulthood taught me why the various words friend, colleague, acquaintance, etc. exist to describe various relationships with people. Feeling unhappy, I turned inward, became more anxious, mistrusting, and so on.

I felt that way for a few boring years, exciting things happened but I was not able to fully enjoy them.

Eventually I found my original self. I started trusting strangers more often, I opened up my mind (and my heart) to others ready to face the world. I am now aware that people do have malicious intentions at times but often it is not personal.

What is the point of looking for good in people?

Everybody is either good or wants to believe that they are a good person. They exaggerate their good habits for praise, recognition, or self reassurance that they are indeed who they think they are.

These qualities are good, but adopting one good habit does not make you a good person. It might be the first or the next step, but it is never the destination.

It is here that lies the lesson.

Look for the good in people because they might have qualities you would want to inculcate in yourself.

A lot of my good habits are inspirations from family and friends. They did not ask me to be like them, but the atomic habits were impressive and I wanted to be an impressive person. I learned these habits to an extent. The more time I spent with this good human, the better I became too.

I would like to thank them for inadvertently helping me on my self-improvement journey.

I would also like to thank them for being good subjects who helped me read others and their actions better. While I have not gain the power of deductions like Sherlock Holmes, I have at the least manage to look closely at people and recognise if we have similar values or not.

Reading people and finding out their hidden self is helpful in the longer run. You might still be betrayed, or pleasantly surprised, but neither will be out of character for them, and unexpected for you.

My current persona is however still unique. I am my own person. Bits and pieces are borrowed from people I love, respect, and even admired.

These people had their vices too, as do I, but looking past it helped me realise two important things.
1. Appearances can be deceiving, that makes them all the more important.
2. Good and bad habits/people are very subjective, they can also exist together in perfect harmony.

Looking through the mask that people have put up, you will see what makes them charming or the opposite. It will teach you three lessons.

1. People have hidden agendas, different ways of getting things done, and the ability to control their negative emotions and habits temporarily. By closely looking at people to find the good in them, you will also find the bad in them. You will become a better judge of people and their characters. You could be wrong, but to be wrong and making mistakes means you are making an effort, and long term effort leads to results.
2. If a habit impressive you and you want to adopt it in your life, that means you have recognised a part of yourself that is not up to the mark. This means that you are able to see inner self, have standards, change/improve your standards, and be open to changing your habits. This does not guarantee success, but it does help a great much.
3. You become more admirable and respectable. This could be towards romantic partners, friends, and people you meet on the plane to your holiday destination. You will begin to have a spark from the confidence, and when others notice the same habits, they cannot help feel a little admiration.
   But where there is admiration, there is also a little envy. Be mindful. Appear genuine and fun, forcing each habit will tire you out mentally and the lack of diligence will be apparent in your efforts.

See you tomorrow.